What a week

Hell of a tiring week. We're already on saturday, fuck, didn't see time going. Guess working all day long with kids makes day shorter or at least going faster.
The great thing with working with kids, except for the ugly costume which doesn't fit you (i gave up on the hat) and the awful pain in your legs for standing and walking near them for 7hours and half a day, is that they cheer you up, even if you are feeling really really blue.
But when you come back home, and you face your computer screen, too tired to make dinner, too tired to remove your make up and all the glitters on your face, well the evening becomes really long. Specially when Vodka opened doors you were trying to close so hard.
Funny how memory works, a music, a smell and you're far far away from your appartment. Once upon a time....
That time seemed so perfect, your picture is so perfect, but was it really like that? Was everything so perfect? Or were we just going through pain and pain? I can't forgive myself for those last months and maybe that's why somehow it's still so painful.
Your perfume... I could smell it forever. But is it how i am gonna move on? Or is it just a way to torture myself by getting stuck in the past. Somewhere, a part of me doesn't want to move on. Therefore the recent failure in my relationships. No string attached, maybe that's the best.
There's never a happy ending. Fairy tales were wrong. Because there is always a break up, sometimes no break up but death.
Why do we keep looking? The beginning is always great, but then the dream stops. And we're off, then back, then off again. And what if the person we are looking for is right in front of you but we can't see him?
Oh God, things were so much easier before.