Older and wiser??

Here we are. I am 23. Little late night analysis of the phenomenon.
23.... It's one year before the supposedly age I was gonna get married. Because let's face it, if life hadn't been so twisted, I would now be finishing my last year of professional master, Mathieu would be finishing his last year at the INSA. We would have had one year to start working and we would have accomplished our dream.
But September 8th happened and changed everything. Never plan anything in your head, never picture your dream life. It will never happen the way you want it. For bad or for good.

So here I am. 23, still single, not finished yet because I'm now planning to do a PhD, no fucking idea of where I want to live and trying desperatly to start writing my honour thesis.

But, since September 8th, a lot of good things have happened too. Let's say I'm 23 for the government and for my ID, but I'm actually 2 in my new life. What's been happening in 2 years?? It seems to me much more than ever.

Like a phoenix, I rised from my ashes. Building a new life upon what was left from before 2005. It's just a coping mechanism I guess, just a way to escape from what you don't want to think about, but it worked.

2 years it's a lot of new people met, a lot of parties, a lot of tears, a lot of laughing. 2 years that allowed me to realize one of my dream and to come studying abroad, in Montreal. Something I would have never dared to do before. And I'm glad I did it.

These 2 years also allowed me to accomplish something I would have never thought possible before. I don't know how it happened, how one day I was able to leave this dark and secret part of my life behind and learnt how not to rely on food everytime I was feeling blue or bored. How I can now eat chocolate and nutella without having to finish the whole pot, how I could eat this hamburger after a party, how I could eat half a poutine... Maybe for this I became wiser.

I didn't get wiser for relationships. That's still something I've got to work on. Maybe the past is still too much in the present for this, and maybe there are still some persons I'm not ready to let go yet.

I didn't get wiser for parties either, but god that feels good.

So overall, I'm 23, single and trying to figure out my way through this world which sometimes feels like weird to me. But overall I kind of like what I've done so far. I'm growing up, and who knows, maybe that dream life I pictured in my head when I was a little girl still has a chance to happen...