Monochrome life

I want to be a butterfly... To be able to fly to a star or just to travel around the world without being seen. To be able to disappear in a blink of an eye... To escape.

It's like the road isn't as straightforward as it was thought to be, as if everything had piled up. Always trying to be perfect, always trying to be the best and to please everybody. Not disappointing anyone, answering to the unsaid demands placed upon me.

She'll do great, you'll do great, i'll do great... And what if not? What if I was just as normal as everybody? What if I had been wrong this all time? What if some scars are never gonna totally heal.

What if I want to start all over again? Or what if I don't? I don't know. I have no idea, I'm just trying to figure out my way through the world, alone, just by myself, as a grown-up.

One day, i'll fly away, away. So that people stop expecting something from me. I can't do it all, i'm tired and alone.

When faced with the unknown, some people want to go back, turn around, some people dare to go beyond their fears to figure out what is ahead.

Had you already lived all i have been through at my age? Did you know so much about what's around? Did you do what you really want or did you just choose the easiest way and ended up regretting it? Were people expecting so much from you? Were you feeling so lost at times, so insecure and lonely? Had you seen that there were other cultures around? Did you have that opening?

Smile, be good, be nice, be smart, have good grades, get good friends, succeed, get married, have children. When you'll be retired, you'll finally be able to enjoy life... Live, it's worthing it. Don't consider choices and alternatives, your way is already mapped out.

Don't worry, i'll find a good job and i'll go to work everyday on my old bicycle you loved.

Monochrome floors, monochrome walls, monochrome like, only absence near me, nothing but silence around me.