It is in your eyes

Your eyes... I am wondering how I would feel if I had been able to see them again. To see your look a last time.
Only a movie, that would have never been possible, but what would have happened if I had been given the chance to see them again.
The weird thing is that i can't really remember them now. God it is becoming all so blurry. Your face is so blurry, your memory is so distant.
I just remember a feeling. I know that it happened, i know that you existed, i remember some of expressions of your face, i remember your lips i think, the sound of your voice, kind of. I remember how you said I had vertigo and stupid things like that. I remember we were together, and that a long time ago, everything seemed perfect.
But in the meantime, my memory made everything blurry, as if I had been sleeping and it was all a dream.
Is it wrong, is it wrong to let go? Am I really allowed to? Am I allowed to be afraid not to see other eyes, so different from yours. I like those eyes, and what they seem to tell sometimes.

My sweet angel, it feels so weird right now, it really does. I have never been able to let you go that far. What's happening? I haven't felt that safe and peaceful since you. There are so many things in those eyes reminding me of you. I see you in them, probably why I like them so much.

Will I ever stop crying everytime I see something that reminds me of that day. Of you not with us anymore. Will I be able one day to keep my eyes open and see a car crash without having my mind wandering to another time?

If you're still here, somewhere around, looking after me, then please, dont let those eyes close.