And nothing else matters

I would never have thought that you would make me feel like this one day. That you could talk to me like that. I didn't even know that you could have that tone of voice.
Thinking that yesterday I wanted to write something nice about you here. Cos you were so different. So nice.
But in the end it is all the same. What I want comes after. When things will be done for you. When you will be ready. When you will be sorted out. Who cares if I'm ready, who cares if I'm left alone again. Isn't it what I have been deserving since forever anyway.
What I saw last night scared me, for real. I have been there, I have done that, to not let it happen to me ever again.
I have too many things to do anyway to have time to think about it, or I cry about it.
I am just gonna have 15hours day, just to keep my mind busy, just to not think about it.
Ignore this nasty feeling in my stomach. This nauseous feeling. I know it, I fought it once or twice or three times. On my own everytime. So I can do it again.
Things never change.
I hope one day you'll be ready, cos I am not anymore.
Something broke last night, something changed.
I know, my phone will stay silent, you suck at apologising or coming back.

Rant over, nothing else matters.