......

It won't break me, no it won't. Life has taught me at least one thing, how to cope with things.
I won't show how sad or mad or hurt I can be, you can think whatever you want you're not into my head. I can deal with lots of things inside but my face will always show a big bright smile. My smile is my strength, and I'll always wear it.
I might have lost it for months, but it won't ever fade away again. My smile can hide everything.
I don't care anyway.

When faced with the choice to cry over something I've never believed in and I wasn't sure to want or over my soul mate, I chose my soul mate. Tonight, if my tears are running down my cheeks, it's because of an angel, lost too early. I prefer to regress to that pain, I know it, and I love it.

The song I chose to listen to is just for him, because I can see him trying desperatly to cheer me up, ready to kick the ass of the people who just hurt me.
That was my baby, ready to fight for me at anytime.

And his last texto in my head, those words resonating in my head "Puce quand j'arriverai à Toulouse je veux passer toute une journée au lit à regarder des Friends avec toi, au'est-ce t'en penses c'est pas une bonne idée ca?" and his last words and the silence and the coldness.
That's what Im thinking about tonight, he's the one I want to hug tonight, he's the one I kept calling for when I drunk too much.

That's all I can think about, that's all I can cry for. Even away, he's here for me, to help me.
There won't ever be anything else that will hurt me more than the thought of all the things we've missed together, there won't ever be anything else I will cry for, there won't ever be anything else susceptible to take my smile away.

Because whatever I can go through, nothing will be worst than that.


And that will be the regret I will have to live with till my death, that will be my regret and my guilt. Except I know I couldn't have done anything to change it.