Poisonous

You are like a poison. You're getting into my bloodstream, you made your way through, you're all inside me, and it's bad for me, i know you're bad for me, but somehow it's too late, you've infected me.
You're my poison, getting me high sometimes, but only to make me feel worse the second after. You're so bad, you're killing me softly, but i cant get rid of you, you're too deep inside me.
If I was given the cure, I wouldnt even take it, because if it's too smooth and too simple, it's not gonna work. I need this venimous thing, because i dont know how to deal otherwise.
If you were becoming a perfume, I would look for the snake inside you, the one who bites me and injects its poison.
The more you get away, the more poisonous you get, the more i am hooked up.
I know there's something behind all that, I know it, there's not only a bad snake, but i know you wont show it.
I might have an escape, but am I gonna be able to take it. Or am I gonna stick to my favourite poison?
Dont kill me, but dont set me free. We're the same, but so different in the same time, you react in your way, i react in mine, but we both try to get out of there, coz we're too scared, coz we're bad for each other, but we still cant set ourselves free.
When everything is going well, you get cold, I get paranoid, trying to find every little reason to hate you.
You're my poison, i cant get you out of me, i know you cant get rid of me. I know you're freaking out, I know I am freaking out.
I know what I am looking for, but somehow, I can only like poisonous things, it's so much better. The highs and lows, the rollercoaster, if you're not poisonous, i would not get that. That's what I like.
I'm suicidal, i'll let you be my poison, i'll let you destroy me and ruin me, just like my previous poison, just like life has been a poison, because no matter how loud i'll scream, the pain will never get away, i wont be able to change things, i wont be able to change you.
It's as if by changing you, i was trying to change the past, to finally take control over this thing i havent been able to change.
Putting my energy in changing you is just a way to repeat history, to get exhausted and to try and try, obtain the impossible, make the impossible happens.
My only goal in this is to make you come back. Coz if i can do something impossible, then i can do anything.
If I wasnt suffering, I wouldnt understand why. I need you to be poisonous, coz I cant let my guilt go away. And if I aspire to some rest and peace, to happiness and laugh, deep inside, all I wish for is a new poison to come deliver me.